Misato's Predicament
by Ammadeau
Summary: Misato has a problem, but her indirect solution ends up making it everyone's problem. Co-writen with Lara Bartram.


Misato's Predicament  
  
(A NGE fic - based on Ritsuko's Problem, by DaR)  
  
By Lara Bartram and Ammadeau  
  
Send comments to:  
roy.fokker@unspacy.org  
lara@thekeep.org  
  
Read the Outtakes and other fics and such on our pages at:  
http://www.thekeep.org/~amm/fanfiction.htm  
http://www.thekeep.org/~lara/index.html  
  
  
[Characters and situations belong to Gainax. We're not trying to   
make money off of this work of fiction or claim rights to these   
characters.]  
  
***  
  
"What? You're afraid because she might have checked you out?"  
  
Misato stared glumly at her food, her silence being the only answer  
Kaji needed.  
  
"Misato," he began gently, "you're a very attractive woman. Anyone who  
appreciates the female form is going to give you the once over."  
  
"But I didn't room with most people, dammit! I didn't change in front  
of most people, and I sure as hell didn't get naked-- "  
  
"I get the point; no need to shout. I'm just saying that there's  
really no difference between, if she even _is_ a lesbian, Ritsuko and a guy  
looking at you."  
  
Misato still looked uncomfortable.  
  
"She's never hit on you, has she?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then what is there to worry about?"  
  
"I dunno. It's like she lied to me. For all this time, she lied to  
me about it. Not only is it weird, it's like..."  
  
"Like she betrayed you?"  
  
"Exactly!"  
  
"Now, Misato, what would have said if she had come out and told?"  
  
Misato frowned.  
  
"And maybe she wasn't even sure. Did you think about that?"  
  
"Well... no."  
  
"Don't take all this out on her. Besides, wouldn't you be flattered  
if someone as good looking as Ritsuko hit on you?" he asked in a  
conspiratorial whisper.  
  
"Well, yeah, I... Hey!" Misato turned on Kaji and hit his arm.   
"Bastard! What was that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Just having you consider some things," he answered, grinning. "I  
didn't mean anything by it, baby."  
  
"Go to hell."  
  
The thing was, Misato would have been flattered. She wasn't sure why  
though since she didn't find guys checking her out flattering in the least.   
Then again, they were usually jerks and scumbags.  
  
***  
  
The major rolled over in her bed and closed her eyes. The idea that  
Ritsuko was possibly gay... It had never occurred to her before all this.   
Sure, sometimes Misato thought her friend was a bit odd and unlucky with  
men, but that didn't make her gay. Just... a woman with an unsatisfactory  
love life.  
  
Sighing softly, Misato got down to the serious business of trying to  
sleep.  
  
***  
  
The next day, she was graced at lunch time with the presence of not  
only Kaji, but Ritsuko and Aoba Shigeru as well. When had she become the  
social center of lunch?  
  
That was not quite correct though. While the others were sharing her  
table, they seemed content to hold a conversation without any of her input.   
That was fine with her. It gave her a chance to continue to think about  
things, even if she got answers she didn't want to consider.  
  
That was when it happened. While sipping her tea and observing  
Ritsuko eating a piece of chicken, the thought made itself known: what  
would it be like to kiss her?  
  
What would it be like to kiss her with Kaji watching in an intimate  
setting? If Aoba was there too? Would it be so much different than  
kissing a man? Sure, Ritsuko's mouth looked a bit smaller, her lips softer  
and skin smoother, but really?  
  
"Misato? Hello?" Kaji waved his hand in front of her face.  
  
And if Ritsuko was that way, would she return it? Did she find Misato  
attractive? It wouldn't be so bad, would it? A kiss was only a kiss; it  
wasn't sex. A kiss didn't make someone that way or mean they were, right?   
Of course, if she caught Kaji kissing a man, she'd probably think something  
very much like that.  
  
Misato coughed on her tea when an odd image of Kaji and the commander  
popped into her head. She'd probably faint right there on the spot. Or  
laugh.  
  
Dabbing at her mouth with a napkin, Misato's eyes moved down from  
Ritsuko's mouth to her slender neck, then to her shoulder where the  
faintest outline of the bra was visible. Her eyes were drawn inexplicably  
to her friend's bosom. Of course, she had seen breasts beside her own  
before, but this was the first time she had ever really considered them.  
  
Consciously. A frown crossed her face. Maybe she had, but had never  
recognized the significance of such thoughts.  
  
A quick glance at the public bath comparing size, moments she could  
remember when she was younger, noting the differences between her own and  
others, but it had all been innocent curiosity, hadn't it? The way her  
eyes were on Ritsuko's breasts, it certainly wasn't innocent curiosity.  
  
Oh, but it was definitely curiosity. Curiosity of a different kind.  
  
A sick feeling bubbled up in Misato's stomach that she didn't want to  
consider the source of. It could be something she ate, or it could be  
something to do with the familiar urges she was picking up on. It...  
couldn't be. It just couldn't. She refused to believe it.  
  
And what... what would it be like to... Misato squirmed in her chair.   
Maybe it was just a matter of--  
  
Just nothing! That wasn't something she was interested in at all!   
Misato had always been interested in guys. End of story.  
  
She watched Ritsuko drink her coffee and wondered how it would feel,  
how different it would be. What those fingers, rough from and callused  
from all her work on the MAGI, would feel like in the most sensitive  
areas...  
  
But Misato Katsuragi wasn't like that. No way. She squirmed more as  
her mind refused to let it go. What would it be like to kiss her?  
  
***  
  
Misato slumped into her apartment, her body on automatic as her mind  
busily picked away at her current dilemma like a scab she couldn't stop  
tugging at.  
  
Open door, walk through door, mumble salutations to Shinji and Asuka,  
grab beer out of fridge, open beer, sample beer, enter room, slam door shut  
behind her.  
  
"Do you think something's the matter with Misato?" Shinji asked Asuka  
a few minutes later. They were idly watching TV while doing their  
homework, or rather Asuka was flipping the channels while Shinji struggled  
with his assignment. The college graduate had already finished her work  
and refused to help him.  
  
Asuka shrugged, not looking up from the TV. "She went straight to the  
beer like she always does. What do you mean, Shinji?"  
  
"I don't know," Shinji replied as he struggled mentally for the reason  
he had spoken in the first place. Maybe he was only trying to break up the  
silence. "She seemed different somehow. Like she had a problem."  
  
Finally turning around to face him, Asuka snorted and said, "You  
should be focusing on your own problems. I can't believe you're not even  
half done yet."  
  
Shinji sighed and went back to his homework.  
  
***  
  
Misato lay slumped on her futon, crumpled beer can still clutched in  
her hand as she stared up at the ceiling. It was really strange, but she  
just couldn't stop thinking about Ritsuko.  
  
The woman had been her roommate for how long? In all that time, she  
was sure she would have picked up on Ritsuko being attracted to her, but  
then again Misato knew that she wasn't the most observant person in the  
world. Though there was the possibility that her old friend had only  
realized her interest herself after they had parted. Nothing like absence  
to make the heart grow stronger, or something like that.  
  
Misato had realized how much she missed her old roommate when they  
finally met once again, though she did remember their reunion to be  
strangely awkward... When she had given her old friend a hug, Ritsuko had  
acted startled, almost embarrassed, to be seen in public like that.  
  
Misato rolled over and breathed into her pillow, idly wondering if  
Ritsuko's lips would be as soft before she caught herself. She wasn't gay,  
Kaji was proof enough of that; he was enough to make any woman swear off on  
the male gender forever. Still, now that the thought had been planted in  
her head, she couldn't stop thinking about it. The unsatisfied curiosity  
continued to nag at her until she didn't know what to do.  
  
Then she had it. She needed more beer.  
  
Shinji eyed Misato's room as the door suddenly slid open and Misato  
herself emerged, moving in a shuffling gait like a zombie as she made her  
way to the refrigerator and retrieved a six pack of beer. Holding the  
shiny aluminum cans close to her bosom, she shuffled back to her room and  
slammed the door closed. The entire time her eyes had a zoned-out look  
like a sleepwalker.  
  
"First you beg me to help you with your homework, now you're not even  
paying attention! Dummkopf!" Asuka raged at him, wielding a sharpened  
pencil in a threatening manner.  
  
Shinji sighed yet again and went back to Asuka's lecture. He had only  
asked her for a little help, but it seemed she wanted to teach the course  
herself. He was sure that whatever problem his guardian might have, unlike  
him, she could handle it.  
  
Beer had taken the edge off of Misato's anxiety, but at the same time  
seemed to fuel her interest. She just had to know what kissing Ritsuko was  
like; she wouldn't be able to rest until she was finally able to satisfy  
her curiosity.  
  
*I mean, one kiss is hardly a pledge of lesbianism, right?* She had  
seen close female friends kiss all the time, though never on the mouth. If  
she did, she would have thought them...  
  
Besides, what if this was all in her head? What if she moved to kiss  
her old friend, and she recoiled in horror? That would make dealing with  
her every day a bit difficult. Or worse, what if Ritsuko took it to mean  
much more than Misato intended it to, a declaration of love that the doctor  
was eager to return? Either scenario filled Misato with a sick dread, but  
it wasn't enough to dampen her rampant curiosity.  
  
***  
  
The next day at NERV, Misato sat and mumbled to herself. Her sleep,  
when she got any, had been fitful at best. She just hadn't been able to  
get satisfactory sleep with these questions on her mind, and the terrible  
and worrying curiosity.  
  
She sipped her tea, wishing it was a beer, and rocked gently in her  
chair. Her mutterings were laced with the occasional curse word, but other  
than that, she appeared to be the average street loony.  
  
This curiosity was quickly becoming an obsession, which only made her  
feel worse about the entire thing. When this person or that person passed  
her, she stared. Sometimes it was at their legs, sometimes chest,  
sometimes their mouth. Man or woman, it didn't matter. Though maybe her  
eyes lingered a little longer on the women.  
  
"Major, is there a problem?"  
  
Misato startled in her chair and almost spilled her tea. "Huh?   
What?" she asked intelligently as she fumbled with the cup and set it down  
someplace more safe than her hand.  
  
"I asked if there was a problem."  
  
Swiveling in her chair, head swiveling on her neck, Misato looked up  
at the sub-commander. "Uh..."  
  
"You're not looking well."  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Are you sick?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Why don't you go home?"  
  
"No!"  
  
The sub-commander stared at her.  
  
"I mean... I'm just feeling a little under the weather, and there's  
some things I need to get done today." She offered him a weak, apologetic  
smile.  
  
"Ah." With nothing more of any significance to say, Fuyutsuki simply  
nodded and went about his business.  
  
Misato watched him until he was gone and wondered, for a brief moment  
of respite from the nagging curiosity about lesbian kisses, just what his  
business _was_. What did Commander Ikari have him do all day? For a brief  
moment, she was ready to call out to him, but probably for the better, he  
disappeared before she could.  
  
She sighed. "Damn you, Kaji. This is never going to leave me alone  
now."  
  
"What isn't?"  
  
Misato sat straight up in her chair. "Uh... nothing."  
  
Ritsuko sipped her coffee while she eyed Misato. "Is it?"  
  
"Yeah. I was just talking to myself." Misato laughed a little. "You  
know how I am." She winced hearing those words come out of her mouth.  
  
"I know how you can be..."  
  
Misato winced again.  
  
"Just what is your problem?"  
  
"Nothing!" Misato snapped, and regretted it immediately. This was  
silly, something so small to be getting upset over. "It's just a bug. I'm  
feeling a little... off."  
  
"Ah."  
  
Misato stared into her tea. There was no one else around, things were  
quiet. This would be the perfect chance to ask her, or at least possibly  
breach the subject. But what would she say? How would she phrase it?   
Would she be slapped? "Hey, Ritsuko?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Mind if I ask you something?"  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"It's kind of... personal."  
  
Ritsuko shrugged.  
  
"Well, have you ever... I mean, did you consider... When we roomed  
together..."  
  
"Just spit it out, Misato!"  
  
"Are you g--"  
  
"Sempai!"  
  
Ritsuko looked at the new arrival. "What is it, Maya?"  
  
Misato observed the two carefully. Ritsuko was her usual self: calm  
and collected. Maya was... different. She seemed anxious and... slightly  
out of breath. Odd. Maybe she had run up from wherever she had been.   
Ritsuko nodded at appropriate moments as she listened to the eager-sounding  
woman speak. Misato had never noticed Maya act like this before; it was  
strange.  
  
"Yes, that could be a problem. Thanks for letting me know right away.   
Misato, I'll talk to you later." Ritsuko gave her a curt nod and walked  
off.  
  
That look on Maya's face... it was almost like someone had told her  
she had won the lottery.  
  
After a moment, Maya followed, not looking once at Misato.  
  
Maybe she could try this differently. A note perhaps. That would be  
relatively anonymous, but not. It would get the point across without  
Misato having to embarrass herself right to her friend's face. She nodded  
to herself. Yes, this was a plan.  
  
She procured herself a piece of paper and a pen, and started to write.  
  
***  
  
*Good, nobody else home.*  
  
Misato slumped against the door of her apartment, as if the fate of  
the entire world rested upon her shoulders. Though for once her current  
worry had nothing to do with work. Instead, she took a crumpled up note  
out of her pocket, and with a sigh, reluctantly unfolded it.  
  
It began innocently enough with 'Dear Ritsuko,' but that was scratched  
out. Beneath it said 'Ritsuko,' which was similarly crossed out. Then she  
had written 'Dr. Akagi," but once again, she had crossed it out. None of  
them seemed appropriate to start this very delicate letter out with. She  
had even tried something a little looser, writing 'Hey Ritchan, what's up?'   
That was buried under a mass of black scribbles though and was illegible.  
  
Misato never thought that writing a simple note could be so difficult.   
She couldn't even get the thing started.  
  
Maybe it would be easier if she could stop thinking about it so much.   
She needed something to distract her, to keep her from worrying too much  
about writing the wrong thing. Spying the television out of the corner of  
her eye, she smiled. What could be more mind-numbing than a little TV?  
  
Dropping onto the couch, Misato switched on the TV as she set out a  
sharp pencil and a new sheet of paper on the table before her. With the  
buzz of the local news in the background, it should be relatively easy for  
someone of her abilities to compose a simple note. Smiling confidently,  
she picked up the pencil and began.  
  
***  
  
"I don't understand why you're so mad, Asuka," Shinji commented as he  
slipped off his shoes.  
  
"Of course you don't understand, stupid Shinji. You're not a girl,"  
his fellow EVA pilot and 'definitely not his date' raged back at him.   
"Though with you it's sometimes hard to tell."  
  
Shinji frowned, wondering why she had chosen him as the target of her  
near-constant abuse. Then he noticed his guardian lying on the floor in  
front of the TV. She didn't seem to be paying much attention to it though  
as she wrote out something at the speed of a child learning his kanji for  
the first time. Welcome for any change of subject, he walked over to her.  
  
Asuka fumed to find herself now ranting at thin air and stomped over  
to Shinji, planning on telling him just what she thought about being  
ignored. That was when she noticed her purple-haired roommate on the  
floor. "Hey, Misato, what are you writing?"  
  
*snap* "Nothing!" Misato quickly insisted as she discarded the  
remainder of her pencil and crumpled up her half-written note. Startled,  
she looked up to see the two children looming over her with curious  
expressions. So focused on the task at hand, she hadn't even heard them  
walk in.  
  
"Do you need a new pencil?" Shinji asked helpfully.  
  
"No, no, I'm fine!" Misato replied nervously as she leapt to her feet  
and began to back away from them, the balled-up note hidden behind her  
back. With a sickly smile plastered to her face, she ducked into her room  
and slammed the door shut behind her.  
  
"What the heck was that about?" Asuka asked her professional and  
social inferior with wide eyes.  
  
Shinji shrugged. "I have no--"  
  
Just then, the door to Misato's room was flung open, a purple and  
brown blur flew to the refrigerator, and back to the room, all before the  
children could blink.  
  
Asuka sighed. "I think the pressure has finally gotten to her."  
  
***  
  
Misato sat before her desk, staring blearily at the half dozen or so  
half-completed notes. She had decided to write the body of a bunch of them  
first, choose the best one, and then worry about how to address it. The  
problem was, that for some reason or another, she couldn't finish any of  
them.  
  
There was 'I've been watching you,' or 'I can't stop thinking about  
you,' and even 'I've been wondering lately what it would be like to kiss  
you.' She wanted to express what she was currently going through, but all  
of her thoughts and feelings just weren't coming out clearly on the page.   
Ritsuko would think she was nuts, if she could understand them at all.  
  
Misato took another sip of lukewarm beer. Her sixth of the evening,  
seventh if she counted the small bottle of whiskey she had used up after  
writing a particularly blunt note. That could be the reason she was having  
so much trouble thinking clearly.  
  
*I think I'll just take a little nap to clear my head,* Misato thought  
with a smile as she slumped forward and passed out.  
  
***  
  
Hands caressed her naked skin, their touch both familiar and  
unfamiliar. They were soft and teasing, the light contact arousing her all  
the more as one hand slipped down to her right thigh while the other gently  
held her by the waist, drawing her closer. Lips appeared before her; soft,  
red, and inviting. She tilted her head up to meet them with her own...  
  
"Wha?" Misato slurred as her eyes blinked open, absently noting the  
sight of Asuka violently shaking her, the red-head's eyes wide in alarm.   
"What is it?"  
  
Asuka stared back at her some moments before answering, "You're late  
for work."  
  
Misato slowly tilted her head to look at her clock, then jumped out of  
her chair with sudden burst of energy. "Shit! I'm late!" she shouted as  
she grabbed a random selection of clothes off the floor and dashed out of  
her bedroom and into the bathroom.  
  
Asuka still stood as if frozen to the spot. For a moment there, when  
the major's half-lidded gaze had first turned towards her, she could have  
sworn Misato had tried to kiss her.  
  
*Nah, had to be my imagination.*  
  
***  
  
"Shinji, be a dear and grab the papers from my room," Misato muttered  
as she slipped on her shoes while tugging on her jacket with her teeth.   
She was in a rush to get to work as fast as she possibly could, but would  
be in even worse shape if she forgot those reports.  
  
"Sure, Misato." Shinji was in a good mood since Asuka had class  
duties today and he didn't. This meant he'd have a peaceful walk to school  
for once.  
  
*Geez, what a mess,* the pilot of Unit-01 thought with a frown as he  
glanced around his guardian's bedroom. Clothes and other assorted items  
were scattered all over the place. He nearly tripped over one of the many  
crumpled beer cans. *How can anyone live in such a mess?*  
  
There were a flurry of assorted papers thrown all over Misato's desk,  
some lying nearby on the floor. He quickly gathered them all up in a neat  
pile, shuffling them quickly. No way to tell which she needed, but with  
her in such a rush, he was sure she wouldn't mind just taking all of them.  
  
"Thanks, Shinji!" Misato said with a smile before flying out the door  
in the direction of the elevator. The thought that she was forgetting  
something briefly nagged at her, but she ignored it. Whatever it was, it  
could wait until she got to work.  
  
***  
  
Even at NERV, with all the work she had, it nagged her. The question  
nagged her, the possibilities nagged her, the... physical implications  
nagged her to embarrassing ends. It just wouldn't go away.  
  
With an annoyed sigh, she dropped her stack of reports on the desk of  
the woman who would put all the materials together for the next meeting.   
If she had her way, Misato would have replaced the meetings with a far less  
formal luncheon so people could actually relax a little. Did they really  
need to sit in those uncomfortable chairs and dick around with minutes and  
all just to hear that there was no new information for them to know?  
  
Invariably, her mind would wander during those meetings, and then what  
was she getting out them? Nothing. And it would be even worse when her  
wandering mind turned to Ritsuko and... bad things happened. She wouldn't  
be able to leave in the middle, and people would notice if she got too  
antsy.  
  
She had approximately four hours to try to work all the kissing  
nonsense out of her brain, get some food, and--  
  
"Hey, babe."  
  
--get rid of Kaji before the meeting. Misato already felt unprepared,  
and none of this was helping. "Go away, Kaji. I've got too much work to  
do today."  
  
"You've been working too hard, that's what your problem is. Why don't  
we just go back to my place after work and I'll give a one my own special  
massages," Kaji offered, sitting on the corner of the desk. "Doesn't that  
sound like just the--"  
  
"No. Now run along so I can finish this up."  
  
Frustrated, but not showing it, by Misato's lack of response to his  
charm, Kaji just smiled. "All right, but you don't know what you're  
missing."  
  
With a roll of her eyes, Misato sent Kaji on his way. That took less  
time than she anticipated. Now only three hours and fifty minutes until  
the meeting.  
  
***  
  
Whistling to herself, Tekawa Miko returned to her desk and noted the  
pile of reports there. Major Katsuragi had dropped hers off with an  
uncommon amount of time to spare this week. Amazing.  
  
She gathered the stack up, straightened all the loose papers, and went  
about the matter of putting them, and all the others, together into a  
series of insanely thick staff reports that encompassed the goings on of  
the past week at NERV. It all seemed like a huge waste of paper to her,  
but... that wasn't her concern.  
  
There were reports from Dr. Akagi, Major Katsuragi, Ichikada in  
engineering, Dr. Kida in medical, smaller all-green reports from the other  
various departments, and even one from Sub-commander Fuyutsuki. Miko  
yawned as she compiled the mass reports.  
  
What a dull, dull job.  
  
***  
  
Misato stifled one last yawn. The meeting was almost over. It was  
approaching two hours and there was only one person left, thank goodness.   
And the sub-commander was always brief, a bit of mercy on her sanity. She  
sat up straight and tried to look alert as Fuyutsuki stood.  
  
"I think we've been here long enough," he began, noting the dazed  
looks on most of the faces their, "so I'll keep it short." He flipped  
through the compiled reports, trying to find his own amidst all the  
shuffled papers. "The budget for this quarter," he said, flipping through  
page after page, "is right about where..."  
  
Everyone waited while he trailed off into silence, apparently staring  
at one of the pages.  
  
"The budget... is..." He stared at the page, his eyes reading over  
the words again and again. They flicked up and looked at the people  
gathered at the table, then back at the page. "Er..." He wiped his  
forehead on his sleeve and tugged at the collar of his uniform. "Is it  
warm in here?"  
  
There were various shakes of heads, every face showing confusion now.  
  
"Well, I guess..." He licked his lips, glancing at every person  
watching him. "Budget is on target. That's all. Dismissed." Fuyutsuki  
gathered his papers up quickly, then hurried out of the conference room  
before anyone else was even out of their seat.  
  
"What was that all about?"  
  
Misato almost jumped in the air at the voice so close to her ear.   
"Wha?!"  
  
Ritsuko took a startled step back at the outburst, almost dropping her  
own pile of papers. "What is wrong with you lately, Misato? Why are you  
so touchy?"  
  
Misato shook her head, grabbing all her things in one messy pile.   
"I've gotta go," was all she would answer before walking away quickly.  
  
After those two quick exits, the rest of the attendees filed out, some  
chatting with one another, others silent and ready to complete their day at  
NERV. Each of them had the collection of reports from each department  
under an arm or in a folder with them.  
  
***  
  
Kozo Fuyutsuki entered his cramped, dingy office and shut the door.   
He waited there, lights still off, everything totally silent, for a few  
moments before he dared set those papers down on his desk. Then, with a  
gently shaking hand, he turned on the lights and sat down.  
  
He stared at the mundane-looking reports, not totally sure he had  
actually read what he had read at the meeting. What... Why... Who? He  
hadn't noticed anyone slip anything into his stack, but he hadn't paid too  
much attention. Not like there were any sort of national secrets in those  
things anyway.  
  
And there was really only one way to guarantee he would get something  
like this: if the person who compiled the reports had done it. His mind  
turned to Miko. He barely knew her; how could she send him something like  
this? On the other hand, he wasn't getting any younger, and she did have a  
nice, delicate figure and pretty features.  
  
But what if someone else had done it?  
  
How?  
  
Maybe... slipped it in when Miko was away from her desk or something.  
  
That was ludicrous. Why would someone bother with that when it would  
be easier to just slip it under his door?  
  
Who knows? This was NERV, the biggest collection of off-kilter people  
since Arkham Asylum.  
  
Kozo shook his head. He took out the note and read it again. Yes, it  
was definitely warm in his office.  
  
***  
  
Maya yawned. She obviously hadn't hit the coffee pot enough times,  
and not getting to sleep until four hours after she had planned wasn't  
helping matters. More than once she had found herself nodding off, only  
roused when her head had started to lean too far forward.  
  
She patted her cheek several times to try to keep herself alert, but  
she could already feel her eyes starting to close. Just... closing them  
for a few seconds wouldn't hurt. It was quiet; those boring reports  
weren't something she really needed to look over anyway.  
  
Dimly, she heard the voices of her two fellow bridge members, Shigeru  
and Makoto, but the words didn't register to her gently dozing mind.  
  
"Sleeping like a baby. Think we should wake her up?"  
  
"Nah, let her sleep. Scratching backs and all that."  
  
Makoto nodded. "She looks like she needs it anyway. Dr. Akagi's not  
bad, but what a slave-driver."  
  
Shigeru nodded. "It's quiet. Commanders are out, it's a free day."  
  
Makoto nodded again, his eyes glued to his monitor. His fingers were  
dancing across the keyboard, accessing bits and pieces of code that he was  
allowed to. He wasn't under Dr. Akagi's supervision, but in these quiet  
moments, he found it the most fascinating thing to wander through the MAGI  
and see what there was to see.  
  
Sometimes he got lucky and found some pretty cool shit. This happened  
to be one of those times, and he just had to show it to Maya. Aoba, of  
course, wouldn't give a flying fig about it; he was interested in his  
paycheck and his music. Maya was at least a kindred hacker soul.  
  
Yet since Maya was asleep, Makoto made a printout of the code he  
found, then slipped it into the folder that was sitting there on the desk.   
She'd find it when she woke up, tucked in her precious notes from Dr.  
Akagi.  
  
***  
  
"You called us all the way to the Geofront just for this?" Asuka  
bitched. She eyed the report the major had just handed her with same  
distaste she reserved for love letters from those idiot boys at school.  
  
"This is important, Asuka," Misato told the redhead sternly as she  
handed Shinji his copy. "These are the new pilot guidelines suggested by  
the commander himself. You'll all be responsible for them from this point  
on."  
  
"My father wrote this?" Shinji asked as he glanced over the front page  
nervously. It probably contained a whole list of what he specifically  
could and couldn't do, mostly the latter. Even though there were three  
pilots, he was the one who was always getting picked on.  
  
"Well, sort of," Misato admitted, giving Rei her copy. "He gave me a  
number of suggestions and I just expanded and clarified them a bit."  
  
"I will obey the words of the commander," Rei stated in her usual  
monotone, setting the report before her.  
  
The director of NERV operations and the three Children sat around a  
small table in one of the many conference rooms in the Geofront. With  
other things still occupying her mind, Misato wanted to get this over with  
as quickly and easily as possible. Still, with only children around, it was  
a reprieve from temptation, though Asuka did seem to be developing quickly  
for her age...  
  
"Let's hurry up and get this over with then!" Asuka demanded, not at  
all liking the look that the major was giving her. She still hadn't  
forgotten the almost-kiss from the morning, no matter how hard she tried.  
  
"Right, right," Misato agreed with a sigh as she flipped past the  
cover sheet and began to read the guidelines aloud. "EVA pilots are  
responsible for the following..."  
  
Asuka couldn't make herself care enough to concentrate on Misato's  
droning. She wasn't a child; she didn't need the thing read for her.   
Unlike Shinji or Rei, she could go over it quickly herself and understand  
it all without any additional explanations.  
  
Still, she was stuck there with nothing to do. She tried glancing  
around the room, but found her eyes strangely drawn to the major's lips as  
she precisely formed each word. Soft, red, and full; reminding her of  
apples hanging ripe on the tree. So inviting to bite into...  
  
"Something wrong, Asuka?" Misato asked, wondering why in the world the  
EVA pilot was staring at her like that. It made her more uncomfortable  
than Rei's usual look. She knew that Asuka didn't like her non-piloting  
responsibilities, but that was no excuse for looking at her that way.  
  
Asuka violently shook her head from side to side, bringing her focus  
lower, and suddenly finding that that didn't help at all. So she instead  
locked her eyes on the report before her and nervously said, "I'm fine,  
really. I was just wondering... Are there any changes in non-disclosure  
procedures?"  
  
Misato smiled as she flipped the page. "I'm glad you asked that since  
our next... topic... is..."  
  
"Is something wrong, Misato?" Shinji asked as his guardian's eyes  
suddenly got very wide while her hands begun to shake. Maybe she was  
coming down with something. He had read someone that an excess of alcohol  
consumption could lead to liver failure.  
  
"I just remembered I have something important to do right now! It's  
for the commander so it can't wait," Misato started to babble, blushing  
badly as she quickly hid the page she had just flipped to. "Why don't you  
all go over this on your own and you can just ask me any questions you have  
later, okay?"  
  
"Sure, Misato," Shinji replied slowly, thinking her smile looked just  
a bit forced. "We can just..." He trailed off to realize he was now alone  
in the room. Everyone else had already left.  
  
***  
  
A sudden rumbling awoke Maya from a pleasant dream of her and her  
sempai working before the MAGI, which oddly seemed to be in a ballroom and  
each of them wearing long flowing dresses as they made adjustments with  
graceful dance steps.  
  
*Are we under attack?* Maya wondered groggily as the rumbling came  
again, only louder this time. She forced her eyelids to open, lifting her  
head to find a trail of drool leading down from her chin to form a small  
pool on the desk. She quickly wiped it away as she scanned the room with  
bleary eyes. The others seemed to be purposefully pretending she hadn't  
been napping so she doubted there was an angel approaching the Geofront.  
  
Her stomach, Maya realized as the sound came again, was urgently  
trying to tell her something. She felt bad heading to lunch after napping  
on the job like that, but her hunger refused to be denied. She wouldn't be  
good to anyone if all she could think about was food all day. She glanced  
up at the clock, only to flinch in surprise. *I was asleep for that long?*  
  
Maya grabbed her stack of reports, her lunch out of her drawer, and  
dashed for the exit. She'd just have to get her work done while she ate;  
she couldn't risk disappointing her sempai. Dr. Akagi depended on her.  
  
"Hey, Maya," Makoto said to her with a grin and a wink as he blocked  
the exit. "I slipped something in with your reports that I know you'll  
really enjoy."  
  
"Yeah, whatever," Maya replied as she nearly shoved him out of the  
way, having no time for chit-chat.  
  
***  
  
Rei meandered down the long and mostly empty hallways of the Geofront,  
heading slowly in the direction of her apartment as she studied the  
document she had been given.  
  
Oddly though, she couldn't seem to give it her full attention. Always  
curious of any matter involving the commander, she couldn't help but wonder  
what Major Katsuragi had to do for him that would make her look so  
flustered, with a deepening redness of her cheeks. She also noted that she  
had never seen the major so hasty to obey the commander before.  
  
The only comparison Rei could make was when she had been staying late  
with Dr. Akagi in order to finish some testing with Unit-00. The doctor  
had acted much in the same way, also stating that she had something she  
needed to do for the commander...  
  
Rei stopped as a slip of paper fell from her document. With a slight  
narrowing of her eyes, she stooped and retrieved the fallen note, expecting  
it to be an addendum to the guidelines. Instead, she discovered a small  
hand-written note. She frowned as she read over its contents.  
  
This was a guideline that she would need explained to her, but Major  
Katsuragi would still be busy with her work for the commander. The  
commander himself, however, was the source of these rules and, if willing,  
should also be able to provide clarification.  
  
***  
  
Maya was in the cafeteria, force-feeding herself a sandwich with one  
hand while she quickly flipped through reports, making corrections and  
notes with the other. She had to get this all done before her break was  
over. She couldn't let her sempai find out that she had been napping on  
the job.  
  
Then she came to a small hand-written note that made her choke on her  
sandwich. A quick gulp of tea eased her physical distress, but did nothing  
for her current mental and emotional state. The note contained a number of  
lewd and disgusting suggestions that shocked Maya too much for her to be  
embarrassed. She didn't even know what some of the words meant, but had a  
feeling that she didn't want to.  
  
Maya fumed as she finished her lunch in a blur and stood rigidly,  
reports held neatly in her arms. Her eyes were hard and her mouth a thin  
line as she stared off in the distance. She didn't mind a few practical  
jokes around the office, but this time Makoto had gone to far. *How dare  
he write something so... so obscene!*  
  
Makoto was surprised that the moment he stepped into the cafeteria.   
He was confronted by a very pissed-off Maya, who marched up to him and  
demanded, "Did you write the letter?!"  
  
"What letter?" Makoto asked with a frown, scratching his head in  
confusion. "I just gave you a printout of some neat code I found while  
browsing around today. I thought you were one of the few people around  
here who could appreciate it."  
  
"If you didn't, then who...?" Maya trailed off as she frowned in  
confusion. Then her eyes lit up like twin stars and a heavy blush coated  
her cheeks as she exclaimed, "It must have been... Sempai!"  
  
"Just what is this... Oh, never mind," Makoto started to say, but  
gave up as Maya totally ignored him, skipping her way out of the cafeteria.   
Sometimes it seemed that he was the only sane person working for NERV.  
  
***  
  
Rei walked down the corridor, her mind still turning over the new and  
confusing guidelines. She had the rules under question in her pocket and  
had studied them extensively before she had decided to ask the commander  
about them.  
  
She just hoped she wasn't disturbing anything. Maybe others  
considered her quiet, but she simply used the opportunity of not speaking  
when she had nothing to say to observe other people. Two people she was  
very good at observing were the commander and Dr. Akagi.  
  
The major she was not quite as familiar with, but she _had_ shown many  
of the same signs as the doctor just before certain interludes. A similar  
interlude was not something she wanted to interrupt, as the commander would  
have been... disappointed.  
  
When Rei reached the office, she was pleased to find that the  
commander was currently in his office alone when he granted her entrance.  
  
"What is it, Rei?"  
  
Rei crossed the office and stood in front of the desk. Without a word,  
she pulled the paper from her pocket and handed it to Gendo.  
  
In equal silence, Gendo accepted it, unfolded the paper and looked at  
it. The semi-stern expression on his face did not change as he read it a  
second, and then a third time. He made a thoughtful noise as he set the  
paper down carefully on his desk. He looked at Rei, who looked at him,  
then at the paper.  
  
With casual deliberateness, Gendo stood, and walked around the desk.  
  
Rei watched him do this until he stood in front of her. She was  
concerned for a moment, as he was frowning slightly.  
  
Then he leaned down, took her by the shoulders, and kissed her firmly.  
  
***  
  
Shinji walked down the hallway after his synch test. Neither Rei nor  
Asuka had been there, and Dr. Akagi had seemed very grumpy and taken it out  
on him. He released a heavy-hearted sigh and shoved his hands in his  
pockets.  
  
Foolishly enough, he had assumed the day would go not so terribly,  
with Misato acting... well, not much weirder than usual, and Asuka only  
verbally abusing him a little. This was why he wasn't a fortune teller.  
  
"Ikari-kun."  
  
Shinji looked up and was surprised to see Rei standing there. He  
hadn't even noticed her. "Ayanami..."  
  
She handed him a somewhat rumpled piece of paper and simply waited.  
  
Blinking, Shinji took the paper. "What is this for?"  
  
"If you are in distress, this will alleviate it."  
  
"Uh... thanks." Shinji unfolded the paper and started to read. "I  
don't know what to do. I want you to..." Shinji looked up at Rei, his  
eyes wide with fear. "A-Ayanami..."  
  
Before he could say anything more, Rei stepped forward and laid a kiss  
directly on his lips. And this was no chaste, friendly, quick kiss.   
Shinji felt every detail of Rei's mouth as she pressed it against his,  
grabbing his arms to keep him from running away. Before she could attempt  
more, Shinji fell away from her.  
  
She allowed him to drop to the floor like a sack of potatoes, then  
looked at his unconscious form as blood trickled from his nose.  
  
Obviously, he needed the guidelines.  
  
***  
  
Asuka was not in a forgiving mood. She didn't like to forgive because  
it meant on some metaphysical level she was wrong. Asuka would never admit  
she was wrong. Because she never was!  
  
So when she encountered the body of Ikari Shinji on the floor, she  
glared at him. "Stupid Shinji. What are you doing the floor?" she  
snapped. When he didn't answer, she upped the volume of her voice. "Why  
are you so lazy?" Realizing that he wasn't going to wake up, Asuka just  
snorted. "You are so _weird_."  
  
She was almost ready to step over him when she recalled that her dress  
afforded a generous view from below and what a pervert Shinji tended to be.   
"Won't get a free peek that easily, Third Child. Need to wake up earlier  
than that to get me."  
  
Asuka smirked at the prone form as she stepped around him, then  
noticed his fist clenched around a piece of paper. Curiosity fueled her as  
she pulled the paper from his hand and began to read it over.  
  
"Pilot Soryu."  
  
"Crap, Wondergirl!" Asuka yelled, whirling around. "You scared the  
hell out of me!"  
  
"Ikari-kun is still unconscious?"  
  
"Yeah, what an id--hey! You mean you knew he was here in the middle  
of the hall?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
The narrowing of eyes always meant trouble was soon to follow, usually  
for the person being observed by those eyes. "You do..." Asuka thrust her  
hand out with the note in it. "Then you should just--"  
  
Before Asuka could finish her sentence, Rei stepped past her hand,  
inside her arm, and kissed the red-headed girl on the lips.  
  
***  
  
Misato was currently hiding in one of the stalls in the ladies room,  
catching her breath. It had been an effort to look like she was marching  
purposefully towards some important task and not panicking like a crazy  
woman, even if the latter was closer to the truth.  
  
If she had gotten this little note when she was alone it wouldn't have  
been such a big deal, but in front of the children... Misato didn't want  
Asuka, Shinji, and especially Rei suddenly barraging her with questions  
about her sex life.  
  
After one more deep breath, she carefully unfolded the note and  
scanned its contents. Whoever wrote it had some of the sloppiest  
penmanship she had ever seen. Not that hers was letter perfect, but this  
was barely legible. What she could read of it, however, made the message  
embarrassingly clear.  
  
'I want to shove my *scribbled word* deep into your *another illegible  
word* over and over until you *unreadable* again and again, you sexy  
bitch.'  
  
*Kaji!* Misato suddenly thought with a low growl, crumpling the note  
in her fist. He was probably pissed at her for brushing him off earlier.   
He had probably slipped the note into her papers when she wasn't looking.   
It was exactly the sort of thing a pig like him would do.  
  
Under normal circumstances, she would have just pretended that it  
hadn't happened, but he knew she was having certain... difficulties with  
Ritsuko lately and he still had the nerve to pull this kind of crap like  
some selfish teenager.  
  
Misato threw back the stall door with a slam and marched out of the  
bathroom, determined to give Mr. 'God's gift to women' a piece of her mind.   
Not realizing she had left the note behind.  
  
***  
  
*What a strange dream,* Shinji thought as the darkness receded,  
returning him to a state of relative consciousness. Rei, the same girl for  
who smiling was a major accomplishment, had kissed him quite... thoroughly  
on the lips.  
  
All of Toji's and Kensuke's talk was finally getting to him, he  
concluded, always pointing out the Third Child's more... interesting  
features at every possible opportunity. Since they considered Asuka too  
wild for him, his two friends, for lack of a better word, had assumed that  
there was something going on between him and Rei simply because they were  
both EVA pilots.  
  
Shinji had never even considered Rei that way. Okay, he might have  
wondered once or twice what it would be like, especially when he remembered  
that time she was lying naked underneath him, her body so close all he had  
to do was reach out and...  
  
Asuka was right. He was a complete pervert, and no better than any  
other boy. How could he ever think that innocent Rei Ayanami would ever  
kiss him the way... the way... the way she was currently kissing Asuka.  
  
Shinji blinked rapidly, expecting the image before him to change at  
any moment, but it remained firm. Rei was holding the red-haired, and  
currently red-faced, Second Child, forming a tight seal with her lips as if  
trying to administer CPR. That is if one used their tongue while giving  
mouth to mouth.  
  
Rei and Asuka both blinked in surprise at the sound of Shinji's head  
dropping limply to the hallway floor once again.  
  
***  
  
*Tasted just like Yui,* Gendo thought with a small shake of his head  
as he tried to get back to work. Still, it was odd for the First Child to  
make such a request, even in such a relatively straight-forward manner.   
There were no hesitantly spoken words or awkward silences. She submitted a  
request, just like Lt. Ibuki submitting an acquisition order for MAGI  
parts.  
  
How had Rei thought of it in the first place though? Had she caught  
Kaji and the major at it again and become curious herself? Though perhaps  
someone had put her up it. The commander couldn't imagine what anyone  
could possible gain by doing so, however.  
  
Gendo shrugged. Something for later consideration. He had work to do  
that couldn't be passed on to Fuyutsuki this time. The old professor had  
been acting a bit strange today anyway, and the commander didn't want to  
risk important matters on his obviously fragile psyche. He was beginning  
to doubt his choice for his second in command.  
  
It was lying there as he turned the next page. A simple note whose  
short message caused his eyes to widen involuntarily, not that anyone else  
would notice, hidden away behind dark glasses. It was a small slip of  
paper containing a message written in black ink. The penmanship varied  
wildly, no doubt to prevent the note being traced back to its source.  
  
'I've been watching you.'  
  
Gendo idly glanced around his large empty office, in search of  
something, but he wasn't exactly sure what. Why was he starting to tense  
up over such a vague message anyway? It was probably a joke being played  
by some bored temp who didn't care if they got fired, or SEELE with yet  
another ploy to keep him under their thumb. On the other hand, it was best  
to be cautious.  
  
"Security? I would like my office checked for any possible  
surveillance devices. No, nothing has happened. It is only... a  
precaution."  
  
*Kaji,* the thought occurred to him as he placed the note in his desk  
and went back to the reports. It was just the sort of childish trick that  
he would try. Gendo decided it would be prudent to have a little talk with  
NERV's resident spy in order to subtly discover if this was just a prank or  
something more.  
  
***  
  
Asuka stared at Rei.  
  
Rei looked back.  
  
Asuka tried to be enraged, but her brain wasn't registering much of  
anything.  
  
"Has your distress been alleviated?" Rei asked evenly.  
  
The red-head blinked. "My... distress?"  
  
Rei nodded.  
  
"How was you sticking your tongue down my throat supposed to relieve  
my distress?" Asuka asked, starting to get a little upset with things  
finally.  
  
  
"It worked on Ikari-kun."  
  
"Yeah, well, Shinji doesn't--"  
  
"And when Commander Ikari did it to me."  
  
Asuka paused. She had been building up to righteous fury at being  
kissed like that by Wondergirl, but suddenly, it seemed... secondary to the  
other weird shit that was going on around NERV. "When... the commander did  
it to you?"  
  
Rei nodded.  
  
Note to self: skip all requests to see Commander Ikari. "Well,  
that's... interesting, but no! I'm more distressed _now_ than before you  
kissed me!" Asuka raged, pushing the confusion to the back burner for now.  
  
Rei stepped forward, taking hold of Asuka's arms as she did, and  
puckered her lips again.  
  
"What are you DOING?" Asuka yelled, pushing Rei away, and putting  
space between the two of them.  
  
"Attempting to relieve you of your distress." She started toward  
Asuka again.  
  
"I don't need you to! Once was enough!" Still, Rei was advancing on  
her. "Go see if the commander needs his distress relieved!"  
  
Rei paused, then nodded. She plucked the note from Asuka's fingers  
and walked off in the direction of the commander's office.  
  
Asuka breathed a sigh of relief. This was one day she would have  
liked to skip if she had known just how weird it was going to be.  
  
***  
  
"Have you seen Kaji? I know he's skulking around here today."  
  
"Commander Ikari requested a meeting with him. That was about ten  
minutes ago, though the commander was with Rei shortly before that. You  
might be able to still catch him."  
  
Misato blinked at the outpouring of information. It was _never_ this  
easy to get a straight answer out of someone regarding NERV, even if it was  
something as mundane as a person's whereabouts. "Thanks. What was your  
name again?"  
  
"Nanimaru. Saoe." The woman smiled pleasantly.  
  
Misato shook her finger and narrowed her eyes in the manner reserved  
for storing things to memory. "I'll remember that."  
  
"Your keys are under the couch."  
  
The normally healthy complexion of Misato suddenly turned pale. "How  
did you...?"  
  
Saoe just smiled with a vaguely vacant stare.  
  
Misato shook her head. "Thanks," she said quickly and hurried off.  
  
It was odd that, when she arrived at the commander's office, there was  
no one there. Usually there was some security posted in discrete  
locations, and periodically, a person there to do some of the mundane  
things the commander didn't feel like bothering with. This time there was  
nobody.  
  
And being too pissed off at Kaji to much care about what they were  
discussing, Misato knocked once on the door before entering the huge  
expanse.  
  
***  
  
Kozo was heading down to get some lunch. His mind was now working at  
a feverish pace in an attempt to figure out who had written him that note.   
Every person that looked at him, spoke to him, or even glanced at him  
sideways was a suspect. Naturally, some were more preferable suspects than  
others, but he couldn't discount anyone.  
  
Anyone.  
  
"Sub-commander."  
  
Kozo looked sharply down at the woman that had spoken to him. "Ah,  
Lieutenant Ibuki." No way. She was almost one third his age. It couldn't  
have been her, could it?  
  
"Have you seen Sempai--I mean, Dr. Akagi? I need to discuss something  
with her," Maya said, blushing lightly with her slip of protocol.  
  
No, it was not Ibuki. He should have known that. "I haven't seen  
her, I'm afraid, but I've been in my office most of the day."  
  
Maya gave a curt nod. "I'd better go look for her."  
  
"Good day, Lieutenant." He watched her hurry off. It wouldn't have  
been so bad if she _had_ written the note, but... It was simply not to be.   
Ibuki had her heart set on someone else.  
  
Who would send such a note to an old man like him, anyway? Who at  
NERV would be interested? NERV was a young person's organization,  
recruiting those fresh out of school, before they were contacted by...  
anyone else.  
  
More than food, Kozo needed a drink.  
  
***  
  
Shinji woke up from his second nap and shook his head. He was alone in  
the hallway this time and wasn't even sure what he had witnessed wasn't a  
dream. A very... vivid and charged dream. Sexually charged. Very hot.   
Very... He touched his lips. Invasive. But pleasantly so. Very  
pleasant. Very...  
  
With an almost strangled cry of desperation, Shinji covered his groin.   
He had to stop thinking like that! He couldn't walk around NERV with...  
with a... He couldn't! If Asuka caught him like that, she'd administer  
the pain and humiliation treatment, and that was something Shinji could do  
without.  
  
Think of something non-sexual. Quick.  
  
"Hello, Shinji. What are you doing here?"  
  
"Er... hi, sir." Shinji tried to cover his problem as the  
sub-commander walked up to him.  
  
"Something happen here?"  
  
"No! Nothing! Everything's okay!" Shinji answered, desperate for  
this whole situation to end.  
  
"Well, then..."  
  
Shinji's face grew a bright pink as his embarrassment continued to  
make itself known, and the sub-commander apparently noticed. "Uh..."  
  
"Er..."  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence.  
  
"Keep up... er..." The sub-commander looked like he had just made a  
no arms-no legs joke at a wheelchair race, then walked off without saying  
another word.  
  
***  
  
Since Misato was in one of her moods, possibly 'that time of the  
month' situation, Kaji had no choice but to actually do some work. Not  
that he had much to do around NERV officially, but they did give him a few  
things, if only for the sake of appearances.  
  
So knowing it didn't matter either way, Kaji idly thumbed through the  
reports he'd been given, looking for something to catch his interest. It  
was all pretty standard dull stuff, filled with half-truths and plain lies  
in order to conceal what was really going on. He could have been working  
to discover just that, but at the moment simply didn't feel up to it.  
  
*Hmm, what's this?* Kaji mused as he picked up a loose slip of paper  
that had fallen out of the stack. It wasn't a standard report, that was  
for sure. He flipped the note over and quickly scanned its contents.  
  
'I know you better than you think, but I want to know you more. I  
want more than just a professional relationship.'  
  
*What the...?* Kaji thought for a moment before smiling smugly.   
Obviously, his good looks and irresistible charm had earned himself a  
secret admirer. He wondered who it could be, and if she might be worth  
getting to know better.  
  
Misato and Ritsuko were definitely out; they both knew him pretty well  
and he'd like to think their relationship was more than just business.   
There was the doctor's assistant though... the cutie that managed the  
reports was also a prime subject. It seemed like he had found something  
worth investigating.  
  
"Kaji Ryouji," spoke a female voice from the other side of his desk.  
  
"Yes?" Kaji asked, looking up to a woman he knew he'd never seen at  
NERV before, because if he had, he definitely wouldn't have forgotten her  
pretty face so easily.  
  
"Commander Ikari wishes to see you immediately," the woman explained.   
"I believe it's urgent."  
  
Kaji sighed. Time to receive his daily dose of misinformation to feed  
SEELE. Not that those talking monoliths would be fooled for a second, but  
they all needed to go through the motions anyway.  
  
"Thanks for telling me," Kaji started to say, then grinned when a  
thought suddenly occurred to him. "Say, you're pretty new around here,  
aren't you? What's your name?"  
  
"Nanimaru. Saoe. I have other duties to attend to. If you'll excuse  
me," the woman replied, and without waiting for an answer, turned around  
and left.  
  
*She wants me.*  
  
Years of study of the female condition and pure instinct had  
identified the culprit. It was a classic strategy. Pique his interest in  
some way, then play hard to get to gauge his level of interest. He and  
Ritsuko played this game all the time. Besides, it would be nice to see  
Misato jealous. Sometimes it was the only way he could tell that she  
cared.  
  
First though, off to see what the commander wanted.  
  
***  
  
"You okay, man?" Aoba asked his co-worker as he looked up from his  
console. Makoto had just come back from lunch and he looked... well,  
freaked. Like he had just found out one of those 'big secrets' that NERV  
seemed to be filled with. The long-haired bridge bunny wasn't stupid; it  
was pretty obvious that the commander and the other top level staff were  
hiding some major stuff, but he liked to play it safe and keep his nose out  
of it.  
  
Makoto collapsed heavily into his chair and started at his work once  
again. Aoba had already shrugged and gone back to his work when he spoke  
some minutes later.  
  
"Do you ever get the feeling...," Makoto started to say, but hesitated  
when his eyes fell on the ever present security cameras. "I don't know,  
that the other people who work here might be just a little... unbalanced?"  
  
Aoba nodded sagely. "People are too on edge here, taking all of this  
'saving the world' crap way too seriously. They all need to loosen up. I  
mean, this is just a job, right? Yeah, the lives of everyone in Tokyo-3  
depend on NERV doing their job, but you don't see the guys in the tech  
section turning into walking basket cases, and they actually have to  
service those monsters."  
  
"Maybe I do feel a little tense," Makoto hesitantly agreed. Usually,  
he didn't feel so wound up, but just something about today... kind of made  
him feel like he missed the turn to the Geofront and ended up in an insane  
asylum.  
  
"You need to get laid," Aoba told him with a grin. "Best cure for  
stress."  
  
"Pretty hard to get a relationship going standing at the epicenter of  
the Armageddon," Makoto replied bitterly. "All the women who might have  
been interested in me are either unavailable or have already fled Tokyo-3."  
  
"I don't know about that. I think the Major might be into you."  
  
"Misato?" Makoto prompted with a light blush, before shaking his head  
dejectedly. "Even if there was a chance in hell of her looking at me that  
way, she's got Kaji. No way I can compete with him."  
  
"Actually, he must have screwed up royally with her because she's  
giving him the cold shoulder lately," Aoba told him. "And I bet the major  
is just dying to fill that empty spot on her futon. She must be under a  
ton of stress."  
  
"I get the idea," Makoto told him with a frown as he began to quickly  
scan over his reports, trying to hint to Aoba that this conversation was  
over. "Even if she were available, there's no way... in hell..."  
  
Aoba walked over to see what his co-worker was staring at so intently,  
only for Makoto to hastily bury it under his assorted reports.  
  
"You know? You're right," Makoto suddenly said with confidence as he  
stood. "Even if she turns me down, it's not going to be the end of the  
world or anything. And if I don't at least try, I'll always wonder if she  
might have said yes. In fact, I think I'll go ask her now!"  
  
"Yeah, sure. I'll cover for you," Aoba told him, feeling very  
confused as he watched his co-worker march stiffly to the exit. For not  
the first time, he considered quitting. NERV was becoming too weird, even  
for him.  
  
***  
  
Kaji entered the office, smirking as always, and went to stand by the  
desk. Most people stood in front of it, but not him. No, he did whatever  
got to the commander, and maybe it was a little hard to tell, but Kaji  
could tell. He bothered Commander Ikari, and he was proud of it.   
"Something you wanted? More 'reports' for SEELE?"  
  
"That isn't why I've called you in here," Gendo told him, gloved hands  
folded before him.  
  
"So why did you call me in here?" Kaji asked in irritation.  
  
"I think we both know very well why..." the commander of NERV trailed  
off as he sat up straight and looked the spy straight in the eye. "We're  
both mature adults. Do we really need to continue with these childish  
games? I'm talking about the note."  
  
"The note?" Kaji repeated, a feeling of inexplicable unease starting  
to creep up his back.  
  
"The note," Gendo echoed, standing to cover his irritation. Once  
again, the spy was insisting on playing stupid. He couldn't help wondering  
how intelligent Kaji really was; there could be layers upon layers there.   
"You see, I know you better than you may think, but it seems that I still  
need to know you better."  
  
*Gendo wrote that note?!* Kaji thought in alarm as he began to back  
away from NERV's commander. He knew he was hard up ever since his wife  
dying and all, but surely a guy like him could get some female action.   
Kaji didn't think his mojo was strong enough to charm men too, unless they  
were completely desperate.  
  
*He's hiding something,* Gendo though with a mix of triumph and alarm.   
If the normally laid back spy would get that agitated over it, the  
commander had to find out what it was. Perhaps he was carrying something  
vital to SEELE's plan. He quickly paced around his desk to cut off Kaji's  
escape.  
  
"Oh, that note," Kaji replied, laughing nervously. He tried to back  
away from Gendo, only to find his escape blocked by the commander's massive  
desk. "It was a joke, right? I mean, it wasn't the sort of thing that  
could be taken seriously..."  
  
*A transparent excuse. What is he hiding? I must have it!* Gendo  
thought as Kaji frantically tried to evade him. He could be carrying the  
keystone to SEELE's plans. No time to summon security, the commander  
decided to handle it himself and lunged for Kaji, grabbing the younger man  
firmly by the shirt as he quickly searched him.  
  
*You horny old bastard!* Kaji thought with rage as he fought against  
the commander copping a feel. He felt unclean.  
  
Gendo and Kaji struggled for some time, neither able to gain the upper  
hand for long. Kaji tried to pull Gendo's hands away, twisting from his  
grasp, but the commander was as tenacious as a pitbull. Then Kaji suddenly  
jerked away and the spy's shirt ripped open, sending buttons flying, and  
causing him to lose his balance. He landed hard on the desk, knocking the  
breath out of him.  
  
Gendo quickly pinned him down as he caught his own breath. He wasn't  
as young as he used to be; the fight had taken nearly everything he had.   
He had to act fast. Kaji's shirt was in tatters, so the thing he was  
struggling so much to save must have been tucked away in his pants.  
  
***  
  
Misato was doing a very good impersonation of a lawn ornament as she  
stood perfectly still, hardly breathing, transfixed by the sight before  
her. She had intended to have a few harsh words to Kaji about the little  
note he had written her, too angry to care about interfering with his  
meeting with the commander.  
  
What she saw in the commander's office made her wish she had thought  
otherwise. Kaji was lying on the desk with his shirt open, his chest  
glistening with sweat, and he was breathing heavily. Though she almost  
didn't spot him with the commander standing before Kaji, breathing heavily  
as well, gloved hand planted firmly on that bare chest, the commander's  
head bowed down, nearing... Misato managed to turn away, desperately  
trying not to think about what was obviously going to happen next.  
  
The note she had overheard the commander speak of... It was obvious  
to her now that she had accidentally received Gendo's note for Kaji.  
  
Misato blinked to come face to face with Rei, staring at her with her  
normal indifferent stare. The girl was a little strange, but Misato felt  
it was her duty to save her from the... activities going on inside.  
  
"I see that the commander is relieving Kaji's distress," Rei commented  
as she peered over the major's shoulder. "I will come back at another  
time."  
  
***  
  
Shinji sighed. His life could have been worse; he had come to grips  
with that. Certainly it could have been much better, but... somehow he  
managed to survive. The whole kiss thing, the one Rei had given him and  
the one he thought he saw Rei and Asuka... administering to each other,  
that... lifted his outlook on life. But then to get caught with a... with  
an erection in the middle of the hall at NERV by the sub-commander...   
Shinji just didn't know if it could get more embarrassing than that.  
  
At least his father hadn't seen him in such a state. The man had so  
little respect for him to begin with. The concept of talking about such  
things was frankly the most frightening thing Shinji could imagine.  
  
And there, he had finally calmed his problem and could be on his way.   
Shinji turned to stand and head for the cafeteria, but there on the ground  
was a small folded piece of paper.  
  
He blinked at it and picked it up. Wiping any remaining blood from  
his face, Shinji stood and hurried in the direction the sub-commander had  
gone.  
  
***  
  
Maya stalked the corridors of NERV. She was the somewhat diminutive  
huntress, and her prey...  
  
"Sempai?"  
  
The lab was silent in response.  
  
Maya moved on.  
  
"Sempai?"  
  
The testing chamber echoed her voice.  
  
"Dammit, where are you?" she growled and stamped her foot. Maya  
twirled and marched out of the testing chamber. This was not going as  
planned.  
  
Maya stomped through NERV, grabbing every person she came across and  
demanding to know where her sempai was.  
  
"WHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS SEMPAI?"  
  
"Maya, what is wrong with you? Maybe you should cut back the  
caffeine."  
  
"Oh, sorry, sempai." Maya released her hold of Ritsuko's lab coat and  
stepped back. She hated to though, as she had been dangerously close,  
close enough to feel the heat coming from her mentor's body. It was only  
her natural shyness that prevented Maya from kissing the doctor right there  
and then.  
  
"Is there something you wanted?"  
  
"Well, yes. I just wanted... talk to you about something."  
  
"Such as?"  
  
Maya looked down the hallway. "Could we talk about it in private?"  
  
"Sure. What's this about?"  
  
The two walked down the hall next to one another, Ritsuko very  
business-like, and Maya openly nervous. "You know the meeting this  
morning," Maya began, glancing frequently at the blond woman at her side.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, when I was looking through the folder later, I... I saw it."  
  
"Saw what?"  
  
Oh, she was playing innocent. Was this a facet of hard to get? Maya  
liked it. "Sempai, I know."  
  
Ritsuko suddenly froze in her footsteps. "Know what?"  
  
Maya smiled and faced Ritsuko. "I know, but don't worry. Your  
secret's safe with me. I won't tell anyone."  
  
"Maya..."  
  
"Let's... talk about it. Okay?" She gestured with her head. "Come  
on."  
  
With hesitant steps, Ritsuko followed the younger woman a short  
distance down the hall until Maya entered a storage closet. "Maya..."  
Ritsuko said quietly as she followed.  
  
In the storage closet, which was really more of a room than a closet,  
filled with various boxes, shelves stacked with office supplies, and a  
single bare bulb hanging from the ceiling.  
  
"Maya, what--"  
  
"Sempai, I got your note," Maya said quietly as she moved around  
Ritsuko to shut the door. "At first," she continued, standing very close,  
"I was mad because I thought one of those... boys gave it to me." Maya  
braved touching Ritsuko's hand, but unprepared to take hold quite yet.   
"But they denied it, and I had no reason to disbelieve them... We're  
friends, and friends don't do that to one another."  
  
"Maya, I really don't know what you're--"  
  
Maya laughed a little, a mixture of nervousness and anticipation.   
"You can stop that now. We're alone. You don't have to deny it any  
longer."  
  
Ritsuko shook her head in complete amazement. "This is nothing like  
you. Normally, you're..."  
  
"Meek? But your note gave courage."  
  
"Maya, what note--"  
  
Tired of the denials, Maya simply grabbed the back of Ritsuko's head  
and cover the taller woman's mouth with her own.  
  
  
***  
  
"Are you all right, major?" a woman asked her suddenly.  
  
Misato nearly jumped in surprise. She had been sure that the ladies  
room had been empty a moment ago, quickly checking the stalls before  
tending to her sudden nosebleed. She still had toilet paper stuffed up  
both nostrils and her eyes seemed unwilling to return to their normal size,  
with her face as pale as the First Child.  
  
"Nanimaru Saoe, right?" Misato asked, recalling the woman from just a  
bit earlier, the one who had inadvertently lead her to the horror she had  
only just witnessed.  
  
The woman nodded with a smile, seeming to be pleased at being  
remembered. She started to wash her hands, but her eyes were always on the  
major, giving the other woman her full attention.  
  
Misato had the oddest temptation to explain everything that had  
happened to her recently, from the possibility that her former roommate  
Ritsuko was gay, to her sudden obsession with kissing said woman, and  
finally walking in on the commander and Kaji doing... God, her nose was  
starting to bleed again.  
  
"It's just been a really long day," Misato finally said with a weak  
smile. "I'm just glad my shift is over for now, unless there's another  
Angel attack."  
  
"Oh, I'm sure we won't have to worry about that today," Saoe replied  
in the sort of off-handed manner that people normally use when completely  
sure of something.  
  
"Huh? How can you be so certain?" Misato asked, even though she was  
hoping the woman was right.  
  
Saoe only smiled vacantly as she went over to dry her hands.  
  
"Well, whatever. I'm sure they won't hesitate to call if they need  
me," Misato said as she made for the door, planning on a nice long bath the  
moment she got home.  
  
"Major?" Saoe called out of her as she fished around in her pockets.  
  
"Yeah?" Misato replied, currently thinking of how much effort it would  
take to move the refrigerator into the bathroom so she could keep herself  
well supplied with frosty cold beer.  
  
Saoe smiled as she pointed to her own nose with two out- stretched  
fingers.  
  
Misato blushed faintly as she realized what the other woman meant,  
then quickly took the rolled up toilet paper from her nose and tossed them  
in the trash. "Thanks, Nanimaru-san."  
  
"Please call me Saoe, Major," the woman corrected before suddenly  
reaching out with both hands to encase Misato's one, as if trying to warm  
the Major's fingers with her own body heat. "And I believe you dropped  
this. Have a nice bath, Major."  
  
"Yeah... you too." Misato looked back startled at the woman who only  
smiled vacantly in return, then as quickly as she could without risking  
offense, freed her hand and walked away, trying very hard not to run.  
  
After she was sure she was out of sight of the woman though, she did  
run. She needed to get away from NERV ASAP. It was too insane, or maybe  
she was the one going insane. Surely she hadn't really seen the commander  
and Kaji engaged in... about to... giving... Misato shook her head and  
broke into a full sprint.  
  
She rounded a corner and plowed right into Shinji, sending them both  
to the floor, and everything she was carrying flying in the air. All of  
Misato's papers fluttered to the ground like a paper mill's idea of winter  
around them.  
  
"Jesus, Shinji! You scared the hell out of me!" she snapped, more  
surprised and bruised than actually upset. "God, I need to go home  
desperately." Misato got to her knees and began hurriedly gathering her  
papers, not paying any attention to Shinji.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't see you," Shinji apologized and grabbed the  
folded note that had popped free from his grip from the various other  
papers. "I need to give this to the sub-commander," he said  
apologetically, then scrambled to his feet and hurried off.  
  
***  
  
Kozo was deep in the menial work that Ikari was always passing off  
onto him, things he normally complained about, but right now reveled in  
because it prevented him about thinking about... certain things that he  
didn't even want to remotely consider the implications of. Thankfully,  
working for Gendo for these years had taught him the invaluable skill of  
practiced ignorance.  
  
"Fuyutsuki-san," tentatively spoke what sounded like a little girl's  
voice, possibly Rei since he hadn't heard her speak enough to make a  
positive identification. Then again, she never spoke to him.  
  
*Not Shinji, anyone but Shinji.* Kozo looked up and suddenly felt a  
sick feeling of dread in his stomach. Gendo's whiny brat was hard enough  
for him to deal with under normal circumstances, but after... Kozo shook  
his head slightly. He would not think about it, no matter what. As far as  
he was concerned, it had never happened. He'd just deal with the boy the  
same way his father did. "What is it, pilot?"  
  
"This note--" Shinji started to say before he was cut off.  
  
"Just put it on the desk," Kozo said, gesturing vaguely to a spot free  
of scattered reports. "I'm quite busy right now."  
  
Shinji shrugged, dropped the note on the desk, and walked away. He  
considered running home and hiding in his room. NERV was becoming a scary  
place for him, even more so than usual, and he wasn't sure what he'd do if  
he ran into Rei or Asuka again, especially if they were... Oh no, his nose  
was bleeding again.  
  
Kozo breathed a sigh of relief, looking up once again to see that  
Shinji had left. He didn't want to think that the boy had certain...  
feelings for him. Then he chuckled at his own stupidity. Shinji may act  
like a little feminine, but he was Gendo's son after all. Then again, he  
was living with both the major and the loud-mouthed Second Child, yet there  
hadn't been so much as a whisper of a complaint...  
  
The sub-commander of NERV tossed away such idle speculations like so  
many meaningless reports and picked up the folded note. Probably something  
from Ikari, testing out his son for use as an office lackey or something.   
It was the sort of trick that Gendo would pull. Kozo unfolded the note and  
read... then turned red... then prayed this was all the commander's idea of  
a sick joke.  
  
***  
  
Asuka wasn't feeling her usual confident self at the moment, but who  
could blame her when it seemed that all of NERV had suddenly gone crazy, at  
least more than usual. Misato jumping at the slightest thing, not to  
mention possibly trying to kiss her, Shinji making a very passable  
imitation of a doormat lying on the floor, and Wondergirl had stuck her  
tongue down her throat because, as far as Asuka could determine, the  
commander had stuck his down hers.  
  
The Second Child wanted to go home, but she didn't think she was quite  
ready for it yet. With her luck, Shinji would blab about Rei kissing her  
to Misato, and the major would get the idea to try it herself. Asuka knew  
she was devastatingly attractive, but she expected older people to able to  
control their raging hormones, especially women.  
  
Finding that her random wanderings had taken her near the main labs,  
Asuka decided to go speak with Dr. Akagi, who was at least a professional,  
even if she dyed her hair to make her look younger, and that mole... The  
Second Child could get a printout of the latest sync test scores and shove  
that in Shinji's face if he tried to bring up the subject of the First  
Child's forced lip lock.  
  
***  
  
"Dr. Akagi?" Tekawa Miko repeated as she busily passed out yet more  
reports. She didn't envy the person who had to shred all this at the end  
of the day, though they probably had to use an incinerator for sheer  
volume. "I think I saw her and Lt. Ibuki duck into a storage closet.   
Probably ran out of pens or something."  
  
Asuka nodded, considered waiting for all of five seconds, then marched  
over to the door and threw it open, opening her mouth to speak, but the  
sight before her blocked the words in her throat, much in the same was  
Maya's tongue seemed to be blocking Ritsuko's. The state of their clothes  
and placement of their hands made the Second Child glad that Wondergirl had  
only received one lesson from the commander so far.  
  
Asuka slammed the door shut and bolted out of the lab area, firmly  
vowing to stay at least a meter away from all females working at NERV;  
maybe it was something in the food or the air that was turning them all  
into raging lesbians.  
  
***  
  
*Here she comes!* Makoto thought, a mix of anticipation and fear as he  
saw Major Katsuragi step off the elevator. He knew that standing by her  
car for an hour would pay off, even if those security guys had roughed him  
up a bit before finally recognizing him. His bruises were a badge of  
honor, proving how far he was willing to go to earn her love.  
  
Normally, he wouldn't be feeling so optimistic, expecting only a  
crushing humiliation for all his efforts. That was before he had received  
her note, however. It wasn't signed or anything, but he could recognize  
the major's 'doctor hastily writing out a prescription' style penmanship  
anywhere.  
  
'I've been wondering lately what it would be like to kiss you.'   
Makoto had wondered and dreamed about such a moment, pretty much ever since  
meeting Misato, but never had he ever thought that she might feel the same  
way.  
  
Misato's eyes were half-closed as she marched woodenly towards her  
car, focused on her source of getting the hell out of the Geofront. She  
refused to think of the possibility that the explicit note might have been  
from the new woman, who did seem a overly friendly, instead of something  
from Gendo meant for Kaji. The latter she didn't want to think about even  
more, so she forcefully shut out all thought and avoided all obstacles that  
would keep her from the bath that she was looking forward to.  
  
Makoto blinked in surprise as the major walked right around him, as if  
she hadn't even noticed him standing there. Then he understood; she was  
embarrassed about writing the note now and was waiting for him to make the  
first move. So steeling up his courage, and clutching the precious note  
close to him, Makoto called out, "Maj... Misato, I have something I need to  
say to you."  
  
"Huh?" Misato replied as she turned around, making out a vague  
male-like form approaching her. Kaji! No, he didn't wear glasses. The  
commander! No, he'd never sound so pathetic. Short hair ruled out Aoba,  
so realized it was Makoto from a process of elimination.  
  
"It's about the note you..." Makoto started to say before Misato's  
hand suddenly flashed out and caught him hard on the cheek, knocking his  
glasses from his face.  
  
"Pig!" Misato stated firmly as she yanked open the car door and  
quickly drove off, nearly running him over in the process. She had thought  
that Makoto was the one decent man left at NERV, but he was capable of  
writing such... filth, then she guessed he was just as bad as Kaji. *God,  
my nose is starting to bleed again.*  
  
*What was that about?* Makoto thought in complete confusion as she  
watched her drive off. In her haste, she seemed to have dropped something  
though, a small folded note.  
  
***  
  
"Maya! What the...?" Ritsuko tried to push the younger woman away,  
realizing too late that her hands were planted firmly on Maya's breasts.   
The back of her mind noted politely that they were somewhat small, but  
didn't feel awful or disgusting or anything.  
  
It was only when Maya grabbed her ass firmly that the strength surged  
through her arms to push away. "Maya! God dammit! What are you _doing_?"  
  
Maya looked positively crushed. "But... sempai... I thought... The  
note you wrote..." The incomprehension on Ritsuko's face was enough to  
send Maya running from the storage closet, the beginnings of tears in her  
eyes.  
  
Ritsuko watched her go, confused and feeling a little strange. Was  
Maya...? Did she... feel that way? The fact that Maya had seen fit to try  
and suffocate her, Ritsuko thought that just maybe there were some feelings  
there.  
  
But for how long had they been there? Had Maya been secretly wanting  
her the entire time, and she had never noticed? Had anyone else? Suddenly,  
Ritsuko felt like the dumbest woman in the world.  
  
So... should she go after Maya? She didn't want to give her assistant  
the wrong idea or mistakenly lead her on, but it would be bad to leave  
things like that. It had just been surprise, really. It wouldn't have  
mattered if it had been a man or woman; someone suddenly trying to suck her  
lungs out through her mouth just wasn't welcome. Most of the time.  
  
With a sigh, Ritsuko straightened her lab coat, then went after the  
young woman.  
  
***  
  
Yes, a cruel joke. Fuyutsuki made his way slowly to Gendo's office  
with mixed apprehension and out-right dread. Please let it be a cruel joke.  
  
First Shinji, and now Gendo. This was turning out to be the day he  
wished he had stayed home. "Damn you, Ikari. I should have told you to  
get stuffed the moment I saw you," he grumbled under his breath.  
  
As he approached the door to the commander's office, he paused for a  
moment to gather his thoughts and compose exactly what pier he was going to  
tell Ikari to walk off of.  
  
The door burst open suddenly, and out stumbled Special Agent Kaji  
Ryouji.  
  
Fuyutsuki didn't believe he had ever seen the man in such a disheveled  
state as he appeared to be in. With the way his shirt was ripped and with  
his heavy breathing, it looked like something had been going on, maybe a  
scuffle. Then Kaji turned around and Kozo took an involuntary step back.  
  
Apparently, Kaji hadn't noticed him as the he ran his hands through  
his hair, and redid his ponytail. He pulled his shirt closed and tucked it  
into his pants... after he did up his pants. "God damn old freak. Christ,  
what a mess." With a little shiver, Kaji walked off in the opposite  
direction.  
  
Then Kozo turned and walked in the other direction as well.  
  
***  
  
Feeling unappreciated, unloved, unwanted, and untethered from reality,  
Shinji headed back to the apartment. He had plenty of time to think things  
over on the way back, but he still couldn't shake the image of Asuka and  
Rei... making out, and the feel of Rei's mouth on his own, her tongue  
aggressively invading him...  
  
Shinji put a hand quickly over his nose as he felt the slow trickle of  
blood start. He had to avoid thinking about that, at least when he wasn't  
in the sanctuary of his room where he could dwell very heavily on the  
subject.  
  
He managed to hold off the thoughts until he reached the apartment.   
They sat there, on the very edge of his conscious, waiting for him to let  
his guard down, but he was strong. Stronger than most people thought.   
With a sigh, Shinji entered the apartment.  
  
***  
  
Asuka marched to the apartment door in a very cross mood. NERV was  
the absolutely most messed up place she could possibly _ever_ work. Any  
other job, what Wondergirl did would be sexual harassment, but NERV? It  
was pretty much par for the course. And then Shinji in the middle of the  
floor and all...  
  
She hadn't realized just how much she needed a nice hot bath. Asuka  
opened the door and was about to declare her presence when she got sight of  
the two figures on the couch.  
  
They each looked... worn, like wet rags, and had pale faces. And they  
each had pieces of tissue stuffed up their nostrils to soak up the blood  
that was obvious there.  
  
She stared at them; they didn't move. With a shake of her head, Asuka  
went to take a bath and try and forget his day had ever happened.  
  
***  
  
It had been a long day for Misato Katsuragi. She had thought the time  
that diamond-like angel had attacked, putting Shinji into a coma and  
requiring her to work her tail off all day and night to put her plan into  
effect, had been a frustrating and painful time, but this... this was so  
bizarre that it made that look like your average nine to five job.  
  
Having filled up on frosty beer while waiting for her nosebleed to  
stop, and trying to stop thinking about the event that had caused it in the  
first place, Misato hugged her bath things to her as she opened the furo  
door with a loud slam, startling Asuka who was just now stepping out of the  
tub.  
  
The two women simply stared at each other as the water slowly dripped  
from the Second Child's naked body, as if counting off the silent moments.   
Misato really tried not to notice the way the redhead's nipples hardened in  
the cold air, while Asuka was still too shocked to think of anything at  
all.  
  
Misato mentally raced to find a topic of conversation to dispel this  
awkward moment. "Ahh... I see your breasts have gotten a bit bigger since  
you first moved in, Asuka." When the Second Child's eyes bugged out of her  
sockets, the major realized that wasn't exactly the best thing to talk  
about now. She hastily added, "What I mean is that... you're really  
blossoming into womanhood."  
  
"I don't need you to ease my distress!" Asuka screamed in rage mixed  
with terror, then quickly grabbed a towel and raced out of the furo as if a  
host of angels was nipping at her heels.  
  
A moment later, Misato heard a startled exclamation from Shinji,  
followed by a loud thump of something heavy hitting the floor. Seemed like  
Asuka had been too panicked to actually wrap that towel around herself.  
  
*What the heck was that about?* Misato wondered, looking back through  
the still open door of the furo. While it had been a rather awkward  
situation, made worse by her choice of topic, it was still no reason for  
Asuka's extreme reaction. The Second Child was pretty uptight though.   
Probably thought Misato was invading her personal space or something.  
  
After scrubbing herself down thoroughly, Misato slipped into the hot  
water of the furo, sighing in delight as the comforting liquid eased away  
her tension. Immediately, she began to relax, letting her worries drift  
away with the steam. No matter how strange a day it had been, it was all  
over now.  
  
It had all started in being late for work because she had been up all  
night writing those stupid notes. Misato blinked several times in  
surprise. Rushing in late for work and getting slammed right away with a  
hectic day of meetings and reports, she had forgotten all about those  
little notes. She never did get around to finishing one and passing it  
subtly to Ritsuko.  
  
*What happened to those little half-notes?* Misato wondered idly. She  
hadn't noticed them in her room a moment ago, but she was sure she had left  
them on her desk, right next to...  
  
Misato leapt out of the furo with a speed born of panic, hoping that  
what she thought might be true wasn't. A second later, she remembered  
Asuka's panicked flight and quickly wrapped her towel around herself before  
charging out of the furo.  
  
The Major found Shinji to be a pathetic sight, lying slumped on his  
bed, with bloodied tissue crammed up both nostrils and a icepack for the  
sizeable bump on his head. His eyes had the dazed, far-away look of  
someone suffering from severe shock, or heavily medication.  
  
"Shinji-kun?" Misato prompted him in the sweetest voice she could  
manage. When his eyes slowly tracked over to her, staring somewhere in the  
vicinity of her stomach, she continued, "When you got those reports for me  
this morning, did you happen to see a few little notes lying around my  
desk?"  
  
Shinji slowly nodded, as if any more force would snap his neck.   
"Uh-huh," he added weakly, and as Misato's smile began to show strain,  
added, "I thought you wanted them too so I shuffled them in with your  
reports."  
  
"You did what?!" Misato screamed as she suddenly pounced on the Third  
Child and shook him violently.  
  
"What the heck are you... yelling about...?" Asuka started to say,  
trailing off as her brain caught up with what her eyes were witnessing.  
  
Asuka had been lying on her bed, trying to forget... well, all of  
today, when she heard the Major yell loud enough to knock the clock off her  
wall. She had come in to see what the hell was going on, to find Misato,  
dressed in only a towel, bouncing up and down on Shinji's lap. She didn't  
have to be Doctor Ruth to know what was going on.  
  
"Mein Gott im Himmel," Asuka said softly, before turning right around  
and walking out the door. She would stay at Hikari's tonight and pretend  
the whole day had just been one long nightmare.  
  
***  
  
Misato was a woman on a mission, so for once she was up early and  
ready for work. This was also to avoid yet another run-in with her house  
guests, but she needn't have worried. Shinji had been up even earlier to  
make breakfast to avert her wrath and Asuka wasn't even home.  
  
Kaji was waiting for her in the parking lot. Misato noted at much the  
same spot that Makoto had earlier. She made a mental note to apologize to  
him for exploding at him yesterday, over something that had turned out to  
be her own stupid fault. However, she couldn't let that, or Kaji,  
sidetrack her until her mission was accomplished.  
  
Kaji looked much the same as he always did. Same slightly smug smile  
on his face, stubble on his chin, and slouched posture that said to the  
world 'here's a man who's confident enough not to take life seriously.' On  
the inside, however, he was barely able to keep up his cool facade.   
Yesterday's little 'incident' with the Commander had shaken him more than  
he was willing to admit and he was desperately in need of proving his  
masculinity, along with the ego return it would provide.  
  
"Hi there, beautiful," Kaji said with a carefully calculated smile and  
wave as Misato stepped out of her car. She had been treating him a bit  
cold lately, ever since the 'Ritsuko might be trying to get into your  
pants' thing, but he knew from past experience just what it took to warm  
her up. "I've got a hot tip that the sub-commander is keeping a stash of  
genuine pre-Impact whiskey in a unmarked storeroom. Why don't we go and  
investigate that together?"  
  
Misato didn't even look in Kaji's direction as she slapped his hand  
away and marched determinedly towards the elevator. She wouldn't beat  
around the bush, she'd just ask the secretary about the notes and refuse to  
explain anything about them. She knew she was a day late, but hopefully  
she could minimize her embarrassment.  
  
*Ritsuko!* Kaji thought desperately, after taking a moment to recover  
from the sting of rejection. There had been that one time in college that  
he was sure she would have gone all the way with him, but he was still  
dating Misato at the time and would have been a bit too awkward to be  
bedding her roommate. Besides, this way he could prove that Ritsuko wasn't  
a lesbian and cure Misato of the recent hang up that was making her treat  
him like leftovers.  
  
***  
  
"Umm... Miko, right?"  
  
Tekawa Miko, a secretary working at NERV until she could land a real  
job, glanced up to see that not only was Major Katsuragi actually early for  
work, but practically shaking with nerves. Miko could understand this  
reaction before the commander after one of the woman's hair-brained schemes  
had backfired, but there wasn't any reason for it now.  
  
"Yes, Major?" Miko said politely, smiling to cover her confusion. "Is  
there something I can do for you?"  
  
"Nothing much," Misato replied, utterly failing to sound casual, "I  
was wondering if, in the reports I dropped off yesterday, you happened to  
notice a few notes that had gotten accidentally mixed in there?"  
  
Miko blinked at the Major several times. "So you really want to be my  
love monkey? I thought that was just another note from Dr. Akagi to the  
commander."  
  
"No!" Misato shouted back immediately. She had written several pretty  
out there notes, but was sure she hadn't written anything like that! Well,  
mostly sure. "They were just... things I had written down. Notes to  
myself, you know. Nothing important."  
  
Miko continued to stare at the major as she laughed nervously. She  
had to find a new job soon. This place seemed to get to people after a  
while. "I just read off the names on the reports and hand them out to the  
right people. I don't notice anything that doesn't slip out. My guess it  
that your little notes got sent along with your reports."  
  
Misato immediately turned pale, hurriedly muttered out her thanks, and  
raced off in the general direction of the wall. It was obvious she wasn't  
paying attention to where she was going, especially when she ran straight  
into it.  
  
"What was that about?" Miko thought out loud.  
  
"I have no idea," Nanimaru Saoe replied, who had been under the desk,  
resting her head against the warmth of the other woman's thighs. "If I  
knew she was that unbalanced, I would have never written her that note."  
  
***  
  
Well that hadn't worked, but Kaji wasn't about to give up. After that  
fiasco with the commander and his greedy hands, the most dashing and  
handsome triple agent felt he had something to prove, if only to himself.   
Misato was obviously too pre-occupied with something, but there were plenty  
of other women at NERV to turn his charm upon.  
  
Kaji cruised the hallways until he spied a likely target. Silently, he  
came up behind her. "Hey there, Maya," he said smoothly.  
  
The young lieutenant turned to face him, her face pale and drawn. For  
a moment, she just stared at him, then her face started to screw up in  
obvious distress.  
  
Before Kaji knew what was going on, Maya was crying a river. "Huh?"  
he said suavely, and watched as Maya turned and ran off.  
  
So that didn't work either. There were still lots of other women  
around. He'd prove his heterosexuality if it cost him his life! Though...  
if Commander Grabby Hands discovered this, who knew what kind of jealous  
rage he might fly into?  
  
No! That couldn't deter him! The minute he started shying away from  
women because of a jealous wannabe boyfriend, then he might as well just  
march into that office and pucker up. Turn his membership card to the Lady  
Killer club, start dressing in leather chaps and dog collars, carry around  
Vaseline at all times, and hand over a leash to Ikari. This was something  
Kaji was not ready to do.  
  
Sadly, Kaji noted how easily his mind adjusted to the thought. Was it  
so simple to go from complete ladies man to the commander's bitch-boy?  
  
Kaji needed to find a woman to hit on right away.  
  
***  
  
Asuka snuck through the halls, trying to make her way to Dr. Akagi's  
office without being seen. She didn't want to go after what she had seen  
between the doctor and Ibuki, but she had a sync test to report for.  
  
She peered around a corner to look for anyone she'd have to avoid, and  
quickly pulled back. She could only think about what Rei had said, and how  
much the Second Child had avoided coming into any sort of contact with the  
commander since. She held her breath, trying to become as flat as humanly  
possible, and then a little flatter.  
  
The only thing she wanted at that moment was to go and hide in  
Hikari's closet and not let any of the bad people from NERV get her.  
  
After long moments of not breathing, and just before the spots flashed  
in front of her eyes, Commander Ikari walked past, not even glancing in her  
direction.  
  
Releasing a sigh of relief, quickly followed by taking a big breath,  
Asuka hurried down the hall.  
  
***  
  
Shinji discretely rubbed a finger under his nose and glanced at it.   
Blood-free. He walked quickly, but quietly through the corridors to get to  
his sync test.  
  
If he saw the sub-commander, he'd die of embarrassment. If he saw  
Asuka or Rei, he'd die of blood loss. Either way, he didn't want to die.  
  
***  
  
Rei walked confidently through NERV. In her pocket, she carried those  
precious guidelines just in case she or anyone else was ever in distress.   
For the briefest moment, she considered visiting the commander before her  
sync test, but decided that using it too much might spur the commander to  
rescind the guidelines.  
  
That would be... bad.  
  
With an internal sigh, Rei continued on her way.  
  
***  
  
Kaji walked aimlessly, looking for a woman, any woman. As it was  
nature's way, all members of the fairer sex seemed to have disappeared at  
his most desperate hour. If only he could explain to someone that he just  
needed to share a little bit of himself, even though he'd almost been...  
spoiled by Commander Ikari...  
  
He shuddered.  
  
His travels took him to some section he wasn't completely familiar  
with to find a woman sitting at a desk in what appeared to be a general  
greeting/lounge/copy area. Immediately, a smile crawled on to his lips,  
however huge and desperate it might have been, and he approached her.  
  
The little nameplate on her desk read simply 'Miko'.  
  
"Hi, Miko. You might know me; I'm known to lurk around NERV every now  
and again," he said smoothly, completely . Happily, he noted his voice  
didn't shake.  
  
The woman looked up at him, her eyes blank, beads of sweat dotting her  
forehead. Actually, she seemed to be looking through him, like she was a  
universe away.  
  
"Hello?" Kaji waved his hand in front of her face. "Are you...  
busy?"  
  
The woman still didn't answer him, just continued to stare someplace  
outside NERV.  
  
"Uh... okay." Feeling crushed, Kaji walked away, waiting until he was  
out of sight of the woman to slump his shoulders. It was like... all his  
mojo had just been sucked out of him in the night, or... Gendo's touch was  
like a curse on him. It was like they all knew he was tainted now and  
avoided him because of it.  
  
"I need a WOMAN!" Kaji suddenly screamed.  
  
***  
  
Shinji finally made it to his test, and sighed with relief. Dr. Akagi  
was there, looking quite impatient. "Sorry I'm late," he said, even though  
he didn't think he was late. Still, apologizing came naturally to him.  
  
"You're not late," the doctor replied tersely.  
  
"Oh. What--"  
  
"Why don't you just _wait_?" Ritsuko snapped, whirling around and  
glaring at him. "I'll get around to you when I'm ready to."  
  
Shinji shrunk back. "Sorry."  
  
***  
  
Misato was almost in a panic. Her secret notes were fluttering around  
NERV, in the hands of who-knows-who, and maybe if she was lucky, they would  
never know... No, she had to reclaim them or someone _might_ figure out  
she had written it, and then what?  
  
She wasn't even aware enough to realize she was panicking. She had no  
idea where she was exactly to find Maya there. More precisely, run right  
into her there. "Oh God, Maya, you have to help me," Misato blubbered and  
grabbed at the younger woman's uniform.  
  
"Help you with what?" Maya answered listlessly, not even getting a  
secret thrill at the major pawing her.  
  
"I lost..." Could she tell Maya, Ritsuko's assistant? Did she have  
choice in the matter now? "I lost some..." Misato sighed. "I was writing  
some notes the other night, and they got mixed in with the reports, and  
now..." She gave Maya a pleading look.  
  
"Notes? You mean like..." The dutiful assistant reached into her  
pocket and pulled out the note that had caused her so much trouble in such  
a short amount of time. "... this?"  
  
Misato stared at it for a moment, then snatched it from Maya. She  
unfolded it and let her eyes pull in the shaky handwriting. Oh God, had  
she actually written this? She couldn't remember! How many more of these  
were floating about? "Y-yes. I think this is one of them." She folded it  
and tucked it into her pocket.  
  
"That was in some papers Hyuga gave to me. I thought he wrote it."  
  
"Oh God... Everyone at that meeting must have gotten one. I can't  
believe this," Misato groaned. "It's too late for this one, so who else...  
might have..." Eyes blinking rapidly, Misato suddenly shot off like a  
rocket.  
  
"Where are you going?" Maya asked as she watched Misato take off.  
  
"I need to talk to Ritsuko!" yelled Misato as she ran off down the  
hall.  
  
"Hey! Wait for me!" And Maya hurried after her.  
  
***  
  
Rei entered the room and observed the Third Child standing against the  
far wall, looking generally uncomfortable. The Second Child was picking  
her fingernails and looking very bored. Dr. Akagi was rummaging through  
some papers; she looked very distressed.  
  
Rei blinked, then reached into her pocket and felt the note there.   
Her fingers closed on the paper. "Dr. Akagi," she said, her hand held out  
with the note resting in her palm, and approached the scientist.  
  
Ritsuko just stared with a confused look on her face, which then  
turned to stunned amazement when Rei's lips connected solidly with her own.  
  
There was a thud as Shinji collapsed to the floor, and the muttering  
of some choice words in German as Asuka averted her eyes.  
  
This being the second time in two days to practically be sexually  
assaulted, Ritsuko was rather annoyed once she got over her surprise. She  
pushed Rei away and gave the girl a stern look. "Rei, why did you do that?"   
Her voice was very calm and even, disguising her shock.  
  
"You appeared to be in distress. I tried to relieve your distress,"  
Rei answered.  
  
"Rei, who told you to do that?"  
  
"No one."  
  
"Where did you get the idea to do something like that?" Ritsuko asked,  
her brow furrowing.  
  
"The pilot guidelines."  
  
"Guidelines? And who gave you those?" Misato's weird idea of a joke?  
  
"Commander Ikari."  
  
This time, Ritsuko blinked. "He told you--"  
  
"He instructed me."  
  
"He instr--" Ritsuko closed her eyes. "Rei, please tell me how he  
instructed you to do such a thing."  
  
"I was... uncertain about the guidelines I was to follow. When I  
showed them to him, he relieved my distress."  
  
"He relieved your distress?"  
  
"He stuck his tongue down her throat, just like she did to me," Asuka  
said grumpily.  
  
Shinji was still quietly passed out in the corner.  
  
"He stuck his tongue..." Ritsuko shook her head. "I think we need to  
go see the commander. Let's go. Come on, Shin... Well, let's go."  
  
***  
  
Whether it was a joke or not, the situation had to be cleared up.   
Kozo did not find it funny at all, and he was to the point that he was  
ready to give Gendo a piece of his mind.  
  
He opened the door to the office and strode purposefully across the  
floor with the note clenched in his hand. "Ikari," he said forcefully and  
threw the note onto Gendo's desk, "this is too much! You can't have Kaji,  
the doctor, _and_ me!"  
  
Gendo stared at him, and for the first time in years had no idea what  
was going on. "Professor--"  
  
Kozo held up his hand and shook his head. "I don't care if this is  
some sort of joke, or if it's serious, but if you think I'm just going  
to... like Kaji, you are sadly mistaken."  
  
Now, Gendo had even less of a clue what was going on.  
  
"And to use your son... I don't know if I'm disgusted or just  
insulted. I should tender my resignation over this, especially after the  
incident with Agent Kaji."  
  
"Old man, I have no idea what you're talking about," Gendo said  
flatly, not moving from his usual position.  
  
"I'm talking about this damned love letter you sent me!" Fuyutsuki  
roared.  
  
"Are we interrupting something?"  
  
Fuyutsuki spun around and immediately turned red with embarrassment  
when he saw Dr. Akagi and the two pilots standing there. "No, it's not  
what you think..."  
  
Instead of speaking, Gendo took the opportunity to pick up the note  
and read it. "I can assure you that I would not give a note like this to  
you," he said after he had finished.  
  
"A note?" Ritsuko asked as she walked forward, the children trailing  
behind her. "A love letter? May I?" She picked up the note and read it,  
then looked at the note Rei had been carrying, and compared the two. "Sir,  
you may want to see this." She laid both notes on the desk for Gendo see,  
side by side.  
  
"Interesting. Rei, did you write these?" Gendo asked.  
  
"No."  
  
The blank looks on the faces of the others there indicated that they  
hadn't written them, so... who was the true culprit?  
  
***  
  
Misato burst into the room with Ritsuko's name on her lips, but the  
only person there was Shinji.  
  
"Shinji!" she yelled instead and rushed over to him. Lifting him by  
the front of his shirt, she asked desperately, "Where's Ritsuko? Where'd  
she go?"  
  
Shinji groaned at her, so she shook him. "Where is she? Tell me!"  
  
"Misato?" he said weakly. "What happened?"  
  
"That's what I'm trying to figure out! Where'd Ritsuko go?"  
  
"I-I'm not sure." He was starting to get a headache from all the  
shaking. "I think... I think... After..." He looked at Misato with  
haunted eyes. "After Rei kissed Dr. Akagi--"  
  
"Oh my God..." Misato set Shinji back on his feet and put her hands  
over her face. "Could this get worse?"  
  
"I think I heard something about my father's office."  
  
"Oh God, I'm going to die. Maybe I can stop her! Shinji, you have to  
tell them it's all your fault!" She grabbed the boy's wrist and dragged  
him from the room on her way to the commander's office.  
  
Maya followed along in hot pursuit.  
  
***  
  
"These notes were written by the same person, and it's either a big  
joke or an even bigger mistake," Ritsuko announced as everyone watched her.   
"I could hazard a guess as to who wrote these, but this handwriting..."   
She shook her head. "I can't say for sure, and I wouldn't want to name  
names without being sure."  
  
"It's Shinji's fault!"  
  
Everyone turned to stare at Misato who had just entered the office  
with Shinji and Maya in tow.  
  
Asuka gaped. "YOU wrote those notes!?"  
  
Ritsuko nodded, completely unsurprised by the revelation. "Your notes  
to Kaji have been causing some trouble."  
  
Misato blushed and looked away. "They weren't to Kaji," she mumbled.  
  
"So you did write them?" the sub-commander asked, a little  
disappointed and relieved. Thank goodness Gendo hadn't written that note,  
but then no one else had either.  
  
"It was Shinji's fault! He mixed them up with my other papers!"  
  
"It's not my fault," Shinji pleaded.  
  
"Yes it is!"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Sempai! It was a big mistake! I didn't mean it!"  
  
"This had better not disrupt the schedule."  
  
"Ikari, do you have any clue as to what's going on here?"  
  
"I'm still pissed at you for kissing me, Wondergirl! You're not  
getting out of it so easily."  
  
Shinji passed out.  
  
"Did she just say Rei kissed her?"  
  
"I'm accessing security now."  
  
There was a sudden lull in the rabble, and in trudged Kaji, head hung  
low, not even looking where he was going. "Fine," he said loudly. "I give  
up, Ikari; I'm all yours. You can do what you want with me and I won't  
complain. Just... be gentle."  
  
Gendo removed his glasses and massaged his right temple. "I forgot  
about him."  
  
At the sound of Gendo's voice, Kaji looked up to see a considerable  
group of people all staring at him in stunned amazement and disbelief.  
  
"Uh... did I interrupt something here?"  
  
***  
  
Misato tossed back the last of her beer and immediately opened  
another one. "Ya know, if I hadn't been in the middle of all this, I  
probably woulda found it really damned funny."  
  
"It still is," Ritsuko answered, a smirk firmly on her lips.  
  
"It's all yer fault," Misato snapped back, and quickly drained her  
beer. Another one was in her hand and at her lips before Ritsuko could  
open her mouth.  
  
"My fault? Why is this my fault?"  
  
Misato burped, then looked at her friend. "Cuz I wrote those notes ta  
you." She burped again and drank more of her beer.  
  
"To... me?"  
  
"Yeah. Ya know... kissin' you and all."  
  
"Kissing me?"  
  
"Yeah. Been drivin' me nuts. Haven't had tha guts to do it though.   
Not yet."  
  
"Yet?" Ritsuko was starting to get frightened.  
  
"I'm gonna get you one time, just lay one on ya. I'm not gay or  
nothin' so don't worry about that. I just want to kiss ya."  
  
"Uh... right. Maybe I should go, Misato."  
  
"Naw, ya don't have ta." Misato smiled drunkenly at Ritsuko, almost  
guiltily.  
  
Ritsuko smiled back nervously and started to get up.  
  
Before she escape Misato's reach, the major had reached out and  
grabbed her friend's arm.  
  
"Misato!"  
  
Misato quieted Ritsuko by placing her mouth firmly over Ritsuko's and  
distracting her with liberal tongue contact.  
  
Shinji, who had come out of his room at Ritsuko's yell, promptly fell  
to the floor with blood gushing out of his nose.  
  
Asuka, her curiosity piqued by Ritsuko, immediately turned around,  
muttering in German, to pack. She was moving out ASAP.  
  
***  
  
"Ugh, what a dream," Misato groaned, blinking away the sunlight that  
tried to pierce her hangover-sensitive eyes.  
  
That would be the last time she finished off a case of Yebisu while  
falling asleep with the TV set to the all-gay network. But it was the only  
station that had Xena: Warrior Princess dubbed in Japanese.  
  
A form stirred under the covers next to her, skin massaging her naked  
flesh, breasts rubbing up against her own as a head emerged from the  
blankets to rest gently against her collarbone.  
  
"Good morning, Misato."  
  
"Good morning, Maya."  
  
***  
  
"Ugh, what a dream," Misato groaned, blinking away the sunlight that  
tried to pierce her hangover-sensitive eyes.  
  
That would be the last time she guzzle a liter of scotch whiskey while  
falling asleep reading a translated copy of Moby Dick that she had found  
among her old college things. Stupid old whale reminded her a little too  
much of the 7th Angel.  
  
"Get back in bed, pilot," commanded an authoritative voice next to  
her.  
  
"Yes, commander!" Misato exclaimed in glee as she adjusted her red wig  
and slipped back under the sheets.  
  
***  
  
"Ugh, what a dream," Misato groaned, blinking away the sunlight that  
tried to pierce her hangover-sensitive eyes.  
  
That would be the last time she'd do jello shots while reading through  
porn she had scoured off the internet. There was a lot of weird stuff out  
there. Some people had way too much free time.  
  
"Come back to bed," said a voice behind her. "We still have many sync  
tests to perform."  
  
"Right away, Doctor Fuyutski," Misato replied with a small giggle.  
  
"Oh... ooh... ooohh, Yui!"  
  
***  
  
"Ugh, what a dream," Misato groaned, blinking away the sunlight that  
tried to pierce her hangover-sensitive eyes.  
  
That would be the last time she'd split a case of malt liquor with  
Pen-Pen while falling asleep before the nature channel. She felt a bit  
disturbed over how fascinated she'd been by penguin mating rituals.  
  
Another problem with imbibing so much liquid at once suddenly made  
itself known, so Misato threw off the sheets and stumbled in the direction  
of the bathroom.  
  
Passing Shinji's room on the way, she paused as she heard odd noises  
emerging from his partly opened door, sounding like the Third Child was up  
watching the special on baboons.  
  
Unable to restrain her curiosity, Misato carefully slid the door open  
a bit wider so she could peer inside. Moments later, she slumped to the  
ground, back in the blissful state of unconsciousness.  
  
"Did you hear something?" Kaji asked his bed partner, his chest  
glistening with sweat as he emerged from the tangled sheets.  
  
"Just pass the condoms and roll over," Gendo instructed as he tucked  
at his white gloves.  
  
"Be more gentle this time," Kaji complained with a small giggle as he  
rolled over to reach for a torn open box of Hood brand condoms.  
  
Gendo snorted, then slapped him on the ass.  
  
***  
  
"Arrgh!" Misato yelled as she awoke suddenly. It seemed like she was  
stuck in a pattern of waking up into a dream that was even stranger than  
the next. It was just like in that movie... Hedgehog Dilemma or something.  
  
Everyone who had just entered the NERV conference room was staring  
back at her with looks that ranged from surprise to complete and total  
shock.  
  
Misato followed their gazes down to suddenly realize that she was  
standing before them wearing nothing but her shoes and the cross that hung  
between her very bare breasts.  
  
"Thank god this is only a dream," Misato thought out loud, relieved.   
This was more normal than the others of the night, making her feel relaxed.   
She had dreams like this all the time in high school and college.  
  
Misato grinned as she picked up her stack of reports and skipped her  
way past the shocked row of faces. If she was going to have odd dreams  
like this, she might as well enjoy it. It did make her usually tedious job  
seem much lighter.  
  
The assembled staff of NERV were silent for some time as the continued  
to stare at the now closed door, until Aoba broke the silence by asking,  
"She was naked, right?"  
  
Everyone else nodded.  
  
"Misato did that all the time in college," Ritsuko confessed with a  
shake of her head. "I guess she'll never learn."  
  
END  
  
  



End file.
